If you complain about them in an on-line forum or a blog, you may be banned for life from ever going on a Royal Carribean cruise.
"Royal," indeed. "Off with their heads!"
I don't get cruising, I truly don't. I don't see the fun in going to a vacation spa that can both catch on fire and sink. I sure don't see the attraction in a spa where, if things suck, you can't whistle up a cab, go to the airport and go home.
"Woo-hoo, we're on a big boat." Big fucking deal, these folks will pay you to do that. Though the accommodations may not be as nice, the ports-of-call can be a bit sketchy, you can't drink booze on the ships and the cruise lengths are longer, they'll still pay you.
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I don't get the cruise deal either. Ship the size of an aircraft carrier, shopping malls, bowling alleys, discos, upscale restaurants, an army of third-world servants being rated on "celerity and servility" as they wait on your every move -- basically, it's Puerto Rico with a rudder.
Now Windjammer Barefoot Cruises...that's a different story.
"If you complain about them in an on-line forum or a blog, you may be banned for life from ever going on a Royal Carribean cruise. " It's too late. I banned them for life from ever going on a cruise with them long ago.
Gug
I disagree with the cruise bashing. I've been on somewhere around 30-35 cruises (so many I've effectively lost count without having to sit down and work it out on paper). I've been on everything from Norwegian's now-retired 14,000 ton Sunward to Royal Caribbean's 137,000 ton Explorer of the Seas. Regardless of the ship or the line, I think it's the best true vacation in the world.
You unpack once, you have lodgings and meals taken care of, and the destinations come to you. No scurrying through airports and there are plenty of things to do aboard ship. Just turn the brain off and relax... or in my case, pack a guitar and a laptop and compose a crapload of music and write a lot of short story ideas. It really distances you from all of the normal insanity of life. You can't get much further from the office than 800 miles of open ocean and $9-a-minute voice calls.
Now, I prefer the mid-range ships. The biggest ships I've been on are the Royal Carib's Voyager class, and they were too big. Too many people, too much chaos. We were still discovering new areas of the ship on the last day of the cruise. For me, about 90,000 tons is as big as I want to get. There's still plenty to do but fewer people to compete with. BTW, it's sick that 90,000 tons is considered mid-range.
Where cruises fall short is in the length of time you spend at a destination. In the Caribbean, most of the islands are pretty small and have a high degree of similarity. It's not quite "you've seen one, you've seen them all" - every one has its own culture and personality - but they tend to revolve around sandy beaches and tourism. It's an industry of relaxation. You go there to be at peace and get away from the office, not learn more about a their history and culture. One day in each of these islands is more than enough to see the sights.
However, if you take a cruise to Europe, chances are you're seeking to explore history and European culture. But...how can you really experience Russia in 8 hours or 12 hours? Or France? Or Spain? Or Italy? If you visit any of those places on a cruise, you're cheating yourself. You really haven't "been" to those places, you've more or less just passed through them.
However, on the plus side, it does give you a taste of that destination, a preview if you will. For me, my Scandinavian cruise inspired my interest in all things Russian and Finnish. I would love to go back to those places and spend some time there, especially in Russia. While the evolution of a post-communist society with a history as violent and rich as Russia's is fascinating, it's a little harder to convince the wife it's worth the trip. :)
So, in short: Caribbean cruise = mind-freeing relaxation. European cruise = a sampler for future trips to the destination countries.
By the way, for the Russia aficionados, I highly recommend the film "Russian Ark". It's a film about the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg, which I visited in 1998 on that same cruise. Watching this movie was like being there all over again. It's basically a tour through time within the museum, shot completely in one long un-edited take.
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