Dave Barry and Stuff

So as I am getting ready to write this post, I notice that there is one of those annoying "popunder" windows on my computer. I clicked on the box and it was some ad promising to "make my monitor come alive."

Great. Just fucking great. I have enough trouble with live people and critters, now I'm going to have to deal with animate computer peripherals? No thanks.

Where was I? Oh, yes...

Dave Barry doesn't do too many columns these days. But he did do one last month on income taxes. I'm not going to paste in his recommendations on the proper way to deduct the cost of whaling harpoons (go read it). But I will copy his Q&A about the Chimpy Stimulus Payment:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.