Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, May 26, 2008

Bush Loves Our Troops, the Secret Service Does Not

From the Heartless Libertarian, via Tam, comes this list of the security measures that the Secret Service imposed upon the troops of the 82nd Airborne prior to being reviewed by Der Monkey Fuhrer:

4. REVIEW---
1. No bolts in the weapons. They can not come to the review,
must stay at unit area.
2. Take out the Springs to all Magazines. These will be
checked. To include 9MM
3. Operating Rods taken out of the 240 and 249's
4. Staging area has changed. I will send out New diagram and
also talk with the BDE CSM's this morning.
5. Ensure Your personnel don't have any Knives, Dog Tags,
Watches, Cell Phones Leatherman of any type, nothing in their pockets,
No keys, Lazer type pointers And No Liquids except for the Canteen.
Anything found on the soldiers will be taken away and not returned. If
a weapon of any type is found on the person then they will be set to the
side and Secret Service will deal with.
6. ALL First Sergeants, SGM's And CSM's will help with the
inspection of all soldiers as they move thru the Metal Detector area.
Will explain at the rehearsal.
7. Once a Trooper is in the Sterile Area he or she can not leave
that area.
8. Do not attach the Bayonet to the FLC until after the
inspection. Will explain at Rehearsal
.

[FLC is the system of attaching gear.] I don't quite understand why the SS was so insistent on "no dog tags."

I have mixed feelings about this. In some ways, it is insulting; take out the bolts *and* the springs of the magazines. Presumably the bayonets were special rubber ones, to prevent the 82nd Airborne from executing a bayonet charge upon Owwr Leedurr. On the other side of the coin, the SS has to remember that Anwar Sadat was assassinated while reviewing his own troops when a number of soldiers charged at him and shot him to death with their rifles.

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