I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing

Two generations back, an actor made a very good living by doing one-man shows based on the writings of Mark Twain.

Now, one actor is making a living with a one-man show based on the Star Wars trilogy. (I am, of course, referring to the 1977-1983 movies, not those wastes of film stock that were produced recently, especially the first one, "Speed Racer in the Desert".)

I suppose that if I were a real fan of the movies, I would be outraged that when the first Star Wars movie was re-released in 1997, George Lucas changed the excellent scene where Han Solo guns down Greedo to one where Greedo misses Han at a range of three feet.

But I'm not a real fan. I didn't bother to see the last two. What was the point, they were just exercises in green-screen CGI animation. Anybody with half a brain knew, in broad strokes, the story: Anakin Skywalker becomes a Jedi, marries and impregnates Padamaine (or PandaBear or whatever the hell her name is), is turned to the dark side by Emperor Cheney Palpatine, who dubs him "Lord Darth Vader". Vader hunts down and destroys almost all of the Jedi Knights and is horribly injured in a fight with Obi Wan Kenobi. Vader puts on the Black Suit and Nazi helmet. Padamaine gives birth to fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, who are separated and raised by different families in different star systems. The end.

The only possible reason that any sane person could have had for seeing Episodes II and III would be in the hope that Jar-Jar Binks would be whacked in a spectacularly brutal fashion. But I didn't bother to find out if that happened and I don't care enough to sit through the movies on cable.

I've been looking for an excuse to post this photo, so here it is: