Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

They Grow Them Stupid in Texas.

Government by Tinfoil-Hat Wearers at the state level:
Gov. Greg Abbott ordered the Texas Guard to monitor federal military exercises in Texas after some citizens have lit up the Internet saying the maneuvers are actually the prelude to martial law.
What a fucking low-wattage light bulb. You'd think that Texas would have had to really work hard to have found a governor who was dimmer than Rick Perry, but by gum, they did it.

Chimpy to Perry to Abbott: Talk about a downward spiral. The next GOP governor in Texas will likely be so dumb that he'll only have to be put out in the sun and watered twice a week.

7 comments:

dinthebeast said...

Someone in Bastrop County, Texas, was worried that the military was coming there to gather intelligence, to which Juanita Jean on CrooksandLiars replied something like No, honey, if they wanted to do that they wouldn't come to Bastrop, 'cause there ain't none there...

-Doug in Oakland

Snowdog said...

Eh it could be him throwing the black helicopter crowd a bone to shut them up too. The Texas State Guard if I remember right is kinda like an army version of the Civil Air Patrol. This way he looks like he's taking the black helicopter crowd seriously-while not costing the state anything.

CenterPuke88 said...

The thing that makes me just shake my head and want to cry is that people truly believed rumors that ISIS fighters were gonna be imported to Bastrop, TX. I just can't wrap my head around the mentality that would consider that a possibility, and that's just over 100 miles from here.

Mike R said...

I assume this means the fine folks in Bastrop think that they won the civil war and aren't really part of the USA.

Deadstick said...

I think Snowdog's right, but if it leads to somebody snapping a cap, well...Abbott's gonna own it.

Professor Chaos said...

My favorite part is thinking that the Texas national guard would be able to repel the actual United States military.

dinthebeast said...

@Professor Chaos:
I wasn't even the Texas National Guard, it was the Texas State Guard, which if I'm reading this right, are discouraged from carrying guns (except when using the special hunting license that is part of their compensation package...)

-Doug in Oakland