Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, May 23, 2011

A Partial Rapture; or
How Retarded Can Arizona Get?

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In what some fundamentalist preachers are calling a “partial Rapture,” all credible candidates for the 2012 Republican nomination have mysteriously vanished from Earth.
Meanwhile, I've heard references to Newt Gingrich's campaign as the "Sixth Sense Campaign", in that he's the only one who doesn't know that his candidacy is dead.

As to the second question, it is starting to appear that Caribou Barbie is going to relocate her little drama to someplace warmer, a place where she might still be able to con the voters to vote for her (which clearly is no longer Alaska, as she has worn out her political welcome there). Since Arizona has a large population of elderly bigots who are attuned to the race-baiting dogwhistles that Palin loves to sound.

Scottsdale is a good place for her, for it is in Maricopa County, which is as close to a Constitution-free police state as anywhere else that I am aware of.

3 comments:

montag said...

RE: Arizona. I think this is just a way station on Caribou Barbie's trail to ever warmer climates.

BadTux said...

The sad thing is that Arizona is a beautiful state. It'd be a great place to live if not for all the Zonies :(.

And yeah, Snobsdale is the perfect place for Bible Spice, given her taste for designer clothing... she'll fit right in with the rest of the Zonie Barbies.

- Badtux the Former Arizonan Penguin

Cirze said...

Likely the prototype for the future USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!!

S

Scottsdale is a good place for her, for it is in Maricopa County, which is as close to a Constitution-free police state as anywhere else that I am aware of.