Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

OK, This is Serious Shit

If I were the Almighty, I would smite the inventors of the Blackberry (and all of the copycat devices) and rewrite the laws of physics so those infernal devices would explode when turned on. Cell phones were bad enough, but those damnable mobile e-mail gizmos were a horrible idea.

The inventors who dreamed them up, the investors who funded their development and the engineers who made them work should all be tossed into a prison two levels below the Black Hole of Calcutta. Their bodies should be turned into liquid fertilizer and spread over distant fields. The records of their existence on this Earth should be expunged so that nobody will ever know who they were.

Damn their evil souls.

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