Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

NJ-Delusions of Grandeur

Gov. Christie commandeered a state police helicopter so that he could make an an appearance at his kid's baseball game. And then, because the hike from the landing spot to the game was such a strenuous distance (100 yards), he was driven to the game.

Christie has been slashing state jobs (and taxes for rich people) because of the state's budget woes, but that didn't stop him from whistling up a state helicopter with all of the effort of calling a cab. (You should read the last paragraph of this editorial.)

In other news, Sarah "I'm a real person, just like you" Palin and the Donald dined on pizza, but they must have thought they were in Europe, for they used a knife and fork to eat their slices. Guess nobody briefed them that real Americans use their hands to eat pizza.

1 comment:

Eck! said...

Only peons eat with their fingers because silverware is too expensive for them.

Eck!