Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, January 25, 2010

Prequels Suck

They all suck for the same reason: Everyone already knows the story. There is no real suspense.

Consider, if you will, "Star Wars". The broad outlines of the second series of movies (1999-2005) was well known to anyone who had seen the first three (1977-1983). The same holds true with "Caprica". Consider this synopsis:
Somebody on Caprica invents and builds a sentient robot, which then goes into series production. The robots, called Cylons, eventually tire of being slaves and rebel. The rebellion ends in an armistice. Decades later, the Cylons, now commanded by biological Cylons, return and almost wipe out the Colonials. After several years of running skirmishes, the Colonials and bio-Cylons end up on Earth nearly two hundred thousand years ago. Before they all die of starvation, predation and disease, they contribute DNA that gives the resident humanoid species a jump-start towards Homo Sapiens.
The "Caprica" series takes place within the first sentence or two of the above synopsis. There is no suspense to be had, other than in the details, just as any Star Wars fan who saw the "Phantom Menace" knew how, at least in outline, "Revenge of the Sith" would end.

Prequels suck. Why watch them?

4 comments:

Nangleator said...

Really? Is that how it ended?

God, it's like the old cliché story where the last line is, "His name was Adam, and her name was Eve."

Comrade Misfit said...

The "reimagined" BSG? Yeah, that's how it ended.

Anonymous said...

Did you see that Lucas now wants to re-release all of the "Star Wars" films in #D, to cash in on "Avatar's "success?

Anonymous said...

Why?
Merely learning that the cylons have the moral worldview of peevish capricious teen-age girls made watching the Caprica season opener worthwhile.
Explains quite a bit, actually.