Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Public Service Announcement: Important Automotive Safety Tip

If you have a gray or silver vehicle and you are driving it in the middle of a thunderstorm, when the rain is sheeting down, visibility is down to a few hundred feet and it is nearly as dark out as Dick Cheney's eternal soul:

Turn Your Motherfucking Headlights On, You Imbecile!

Your vehicle is almost invisible in such conditions. But if you had half-a-brain in your head, which you obviously do not, the evidence being that you didn't have your lights on (and you have Jersey plates), you'd know that already. So either turn your lights on or go find a nice quiet spot and kill yourself.

This has been a public service announcement from the Earth-Bound Misfit.

That is all.

6 comments:

deadstick said...

How close was it ?...;-)

Comrade Misfit said...

Somewhere in between "hey, look at that moron" and "oh, shiiiiiiit!"

Phil said...

Add light blue; it's almost as bad. With 25 years as a long-haul trucker, ninjas (stealth drivers) were one of my pet peeves. Good on you for posting about it.

Marc said...

I have a small light blue car, and the headlights are turned on all the time it is on the road. I drive a large truck at work, and anything smaller than it can (and will) be seriously compromised in a physics related incident (if you're a math major, vectors can be demonstrated in real time). When I drive my car, I know I'm just another potential bug on the bumper of a truck. Forget defensive driving -- go for paranoid driving, 'cause they are out to get you!

Comrade Misfit said...

Marc, my private rule is if the engine is on, the lights are on.

Bulbs are cheap. Funerals, not so much.

Distributorcap said...

whoa!