Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Cat Blogging and Helpful Office Tips

I wonder why the Kitteh Wrestling Federation schedules its matches for 3AM. For that is the time last night that I woke up to the sound effects of Gracie and, presumably George, having a wrestling match in the hallway right outside of my bedroom. I knew it was Gracie because of the sound effects, she is a very vocal wrestler. Her opponent probably was George, as he is more into wrestling for fun.

I clapped my hands, yelled "knock that shit off" and went back to sleep.

On another note, here is a helpful tip to people who set up office telephone systems, the type were if line one is busy, incoming calls roll over to line two, then line three and so on: Do not connect the office fax machine to one of those lines. It is so very annoying when you dial an office voice telephone number and you are rewarded with an ear-splitting fax "ready to receive" tone. It can cause a caller to loudly shout the type of polysyllabic obscenity usually heard when one hits one's thumb with a hammer.

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