Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Another Movie I Won't Bother Seeing

Beowulf.

I have pretty much had it with computer-generated imagery in movies. They ought to just draw cartoons if they are so intent on making movies where the actors defy the laws of physics and gravity. They seem to be relying on the "wow" effect of CGI scenes instead of concentrating on things like "a decent script" or "telling a story."

OK, some CGI may be necessary for some science fiction movies. However, "Aliens" and the original Star Wars movie got along pretty well without CGI as we now know it. A million computer-generated Orcs or robots charging towards the good guys isn't exactly terrifying. One of the more enjoyable things about "Live Free or Die Hard" was that most of the scenes were not CGI.

About the only decent movie I've seen in the last several years that used CGI was "Sin City." On the other hand, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" was one of the suckiest movies I have ever seen, it was almost as bad a movie as "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind". "Charlie" relied heavily on CGI for a "wow" factor and it was just bad. ("Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" goes to show that you don't need to use CGI to make an awful movie, I'm surprised that they didn't exhume Ed Wood to make it.)

So I'm going to pass on this incarnation of Beowulf. If you want to see a version of the story with humans, go rent a copy of "The 13th Warrior."

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