Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, May 29, 2017

This Crap is Just Getting Painful

Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly is defending an alleged effort by top White House adviser Jared Kushner to create back-channel communications with Russia as a "good thing," while the Trump administration sought to quell mounting questions over secret ties to the Kremlin.
Let's test that "good thing" with a short hypothetical:

December, 2008: A close friend of Barack Obama tells the Russian ambassador that the Obama team would like to set up a secure communications link to Vladimir Putin that would be off the books. To do that, they're willing to go to the Russian embassy or the Russian UN legation in NYC.

Now, imagine that story gets out in May of 2009. What would the reaction be on the part of the GOP, Fox News, Oxy-Boy and the rest of the Right?

I suppose I should lament the fact that another respected senior military officer has laid his reputation down on the floor and let Trump shit all over it. But nah. Regardless of what Kelly has done in his life, people are going to remember him as the retired general who whored himself out for a sitting president. Just like Colin Powell.

SecDef Mattis might want to keep this old joke in mind for the time when he gets called upon to defend the indefensible:
So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:

"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scorching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"

The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:

"but you suck one cock..."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is one of my favorite jokes of all time. And if you tell it in a crowd of 30-somethings, odds are most of them have never heard it AND are drunk anyway.

It always goes over well.

LRod said...

"...suck one little dick..."

Is how I've always heard it...and tell it.

A distinction without a difference, it's still speaks a great truth.

LRod
ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired

Fine Swine said...

I always heard the punch-line as "but you fuck one goat..." :-)

Pretzelogic in Philly, PA said...

And they call you an Aristocrat?

:-D

Marc said...

If there are youngsters around it's "but if you kiss one goat..."

CenterPuke88 said...

Interesting, LRod. At ZFW it's always been "...suck one cock..."