Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

125 Years Ago

Col. Sanders was born in Henryville, Indiana on this day in 1890.

He was 40 when Shell Oil gave him a gas station in exchange for a cut of the sales. He began serving food to his customers, then opened a restaurant. He was known for having a temper, which got him fired a lot earlier in his life. He was 45 when he got into a multi-person gunfight-- his competitor killed a Shell Oil rep during the fight, Sanders shot and wounded him and the competitor went down for murder.

Between the war and shitty business decisions (he was pretty lousy at business), Sanders was in his mid to late sixties before he got any traction selling franchises. He sold the company, or most of it, in 1965. Ten years later, he was sued by the company for describing their gravy as wallpaper paste with sludge added to it. Litigation between the company and Sanders over one thing or another was almost a way of life.

He was commissioned as a Kentucky colonel and, around 1960, he dressed the part, wearing white suits for the rest of his life. It became, as you well know, his trademark.

Sanders died at age 90 from pneumonia, a complication from developing leukemia.

(Norm MacDonald is playing the current iteration of Sanders.)

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