Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, May 22, 2010

If You Work For AGI, You Can Please Die Soon

I don't know who the entity AGI is, though they apparently are the most retarded telemarketers since the telephone was invented. Their phone number, according to my caller ID, is 616-980-4030. They never leave a message and, on the odd time that I've picked up the call, there is nobody there.

According to the chatter in Internet forums, they are a company of jackasses called Americall Group Inc.[1] The president is some asshole named George Kestler, who seems to have gotten his start by selling insurance to grieving widows and orphans over the telephone. These accidents-of-birth work for various financial institutions, who seem to take pleasure in annoying their customers.

May all of their brains be eaten by vermin. May they all be attacked by facehuggers. May their children all change their identities so that they are not associated with these telephonic parasites.

[1] Rand Paul thinks it is so unfair to criticize any business. Fuck him.

1 comment:

Joe said...

I've gotten a bunch of calls from them. Their numbers are now in my contacts list. Now, their calls appear on my screen as "Asshole".