Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

I had lunch with my mother yesterday in a restaurant in her town. Seated at the next table over were a gaggle of young women in their late teens to early 20s. I overheard a conversation that went like this:

Girl 1: "My boyfriend and I spent last weekend at his family's house!"

Girl 2: "How it'd go?"

G1: "It went well. They even gave me a nickname!"

G2: "What is it?"

G1: "They nicknamed me `the Shiksa'! We were having dinner and his mother asked `would the Shiksa like some mashed potatoes' and I said `yes, please, I'd love some.'"

I had to work hard to stifle laughter. It's probably clear that she hadn't bothered to google her new nickname, for she might not have been so pleased by it.

5 comments:

Distributorcap said...

i see trouble under the chupa

Comrade Misfit said...

If it even gets that far. But if it does, that's the sort of thing that doesn't get forgotten.

Anonymous said...

Could be worse. I knew a guy who got the nickname "tuchis-punim."

Comrade Misfit said...

Wow. That's cold!

CalvinsMom said...

Yikes. If she ever figures out exactly what the implications of that "nickname" are, it will be ON.

(Biscotta will often pinch her own cheeks and say, Look at my wittle punim!")