Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Absolutely Safest City in the U.S. of A. is Akron, Ohio

Because the Akron cops have the time to raid the card games of a bunch of senior citizens. No domestic violence, no killings, no robberies,no burglaries, nobody selling crack, they have cleaned up all of the serious violent crime, so they have the time to go raid the seniors at a Slovakian club.

One would hope that the jury would have the sense to come back in five minutes with a verdict of "you gotta be kidding, you took us away from our daily routine for this shit?" and acquit.

(H/T)

1 comment:

Ruckus said...

Remember this is Ohio after all. I think this comes from the un-official state motto which is: No, You can't do that!