I think we ought to start making up rumors of stuff that the Obama Administration will do with the objective of driving the Wingnuts absolutely batshit insane.
Here are a couple of suggestions:
"Das Kapital," by Karl Marx, will a subject area that is required to be tested under the provisions of the "No Child Left Behind" law.
Competence in Esperanto or Russian will be required for all Federal new hires after 1/1/2010.
Any suggestions, gang?
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Heterosexual marriage will be outlawed and gay marriages will be mandated for all Americans.
Certificates for free abortions will be given out at all government offices and pharmacists will be required to keep a pile of these by the window at all pharmacies.
Taxes will be raised to 95% on all Americans.
There will be six month waiting lists to see a doctor under Obama's socialist medicine program, but the good news is that Obama's burial plan will give out free coffins and graveyard plots, except there will be a six month wait for those too.
Bill Ayers will be Obama's new Secretary of Education and will mandate the teaching of proper bomb-making techniques in all high school Chemistry classes.
Osama bin Laden will be Obama's new Secretary of State.
Sharia law will be imposed upon all Americans.
Hmm, this is fun! Thinking like a wingnut, all it requires is an ability to completely divorce your mind from things like "facts" and "logic" and *anything* seems reasonable!
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
A new international language, named after Barack Obama, has been launched to challenge the global language, Esperanto.
It is named "Obami" THIS IS TRUE!
However Obami will have a lot to do to catch up with Esperanto! Esperanto is now within the top 100 languages, out of 6,000 worldwide, according to the CIA factbook. It is the 17th most used language in Wikipedia, and accepted for use by Skype, Firefox and Facebook.
Native Esperanto speakers include George Soros, World Champion Chess Player, Susan Polger and Ulrich Brandenburg, the new German Ambassador to NATO. The major growth areas for Esperanto are now in Africa and Asia, with CRI - Chinese Radio International broadcasting daily in the global language. Check http://esperanto.cri.cn/
The World Esperanto Association enjoys consultative relations with both the United Nations and UNESCO.
For further details see http://www.lernu.net
As a shout out to his Muslim family, Obama will close all the Catholic churches because of their participation in the Crusades. And any other churches that complain will be closed and turned into recoding studios.
* All Clear Channel radio stations will immediately be forced to play the Soviet, Cuban, North Korean, and Iranian national anthems in loops. The exception will be Christian radio stations, who will play nothing but Norwegian Black Metal and the Barney Song.
* Fox News will be required to replace all of its anchormen with Billy Mays, the obnoxious shouting infomercial guy.
* Bill O'Reilly will be hired on as Obama's 'piss boy', ala History of the World: Part I.
* The images of George Washington and the rest of the founding fathers on currency will be replaced with pictures of Obama, Marx, Engels, Hitler, Kim Jong-il, Stalin, Lenin, and Mao.
* Every kindergarten classroom's classroom alphabet will be updated: "A is for 'Ahmadinejad', B is for 'Bolshevik', C is for 'Collectivization', D is for..."
"Abortion only" sex education.
All telephone calls will be recorded (oh, wait, the Bush Administration's already doing that).
I heard that a new bill in the house will remove the federal tax exempt status nationally from any church whose preacher speaks in support from the pulpit for any person for political office - and it will be retroactive for 20 years.
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