Goddamn It to Hell, Let Those Two Kids Be Kids

Memo to the news media: Stop doing stories about Malia and Sasha Obama. Let those two girls grow up outside of the media microscope.

Every reporter from here on out who has a byline over a story about Obama's children should be pelted with stale pastry.

The editors should be pelted with raw potatoes.

The publishers should be pelted with large SUVs.