Words of Advice:

"Never Feel Sorry For Anyone Who Owns an Airplane."-- Tina Marie

If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground
Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It.
" -- Unknown

"There seems to be almost no problem that Congress cannot, by diligent efforts and careful legislative drafting, make ten times worse." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Dear "Medical Community": Fuck Your Forms. (And You, Too.)

Every time I go in to see a doctor, I get handed a pack of forms to fill out. They want a complete medical history from me. Even if I've been going to them for years, they want the same information each time.

Well, fuck you guys.

When I go for my FAA-mandated flight physical, I have to fill out a medical history. But the FAA allows "previously reported, no change" as a response. That signals to the doctor "don't worry about it, we've already looked at this and we're good."

Why can't you fuckers do that? You've taken the information I provided in the past and put it into your computer system, so why don't you look at it?

One time, I went into the boob-x-ray place and they handed me a bunch of papers to fill out. Second time, I told them they had it all and they said: "oh, we had to replace our computer system, we need it all again." So I filled it out, again. The year after that, when I questioned the need to fill out a complete history for a third time, they gave me the same excuse and I told them "nice try, but no."

If I have to fill out a complete medical questionnaire each time, then shit, I might as well change doctors each time, as well.

That's why I'm giving you a bunch of forms back with my name on it and "NO CHANGE" scrawled across most of them. And as for your HIPPA release, I filled out one of those before, as well.

Fuck you and your forms.

That is all.


Old NFO said...

Oh, upsetting the apple cart are we? :-) That is a great idea!!!

CenterPuke88 said...

Fun act #1, hand the HIPPA form back unsigned and tell the poor receptionist you'll sign it when they give you the copy of the Privacy Practices that your signature agrees you were offered. Much fretting, running around, and concern.

Fun act #2, read said booklet/paper and request a copy of the opt out form listed. Even more fun, running, calling and such.

Funnily enough, unlike many co-workers, I've never been bothered by phone calls from companies, who got my name from my doctors office, having a product I might be "interested in" because of a condition they shared. You might wanna read that shit, people.

LRod said...

I've been doing that "no changes since last visit" device for years. I, too, learned it from the FAA medical. Oddly enough, despite their apparent need for the info, not once have I ever been asked to elaborate.

ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired

Infidel753 said...

Switching doctors might actually help. All my life I've used the Kaiser system and then OHSU, neither of which has that kind of rigmarole. I know neither of those are available in most of the country, but it should be possible to find a service without such ridiculous paperwork requirements.

w3ski said...

I have a small town clinic doctor. The check in Nurse will ask me if there were any changes, along with checking my weight and blood pressure.
Didn't think about how fortunate I am. Thanks.