Taxiway Toccata

According to Tam, the Toccata is when everyone on a flight switches their phones out of "arplane mode" when the wheels touch down.

I've heard that a number of times. Mostly, it's benign. But there was one flight, where some induhvidual had the "clown horn ringtone" as his text message alert. After about the tenth time that the horn went off, I contemplated offering the pilots a Benjamin for a ten-minute rental of the cockpit crash axe.

There are a lot of ringtones that reach into the moronic. The clown horn is among the worst of the bunch.