Words of Advice:
"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne
“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *
"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown
“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie
"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul
"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad
"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown
"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers
"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown
"Eck!" -- George the Cat
* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone
3 comments:
Must be hard to be an intelligence and/or security agency without the competence to handle the job you've got. Best you can do is to hunt through petabits of data on citizens hoping to find the next Atta. Or I suppose you can try to create the next Atta, and then hope you don't lose control of him before you tape him up on your fridge.
Whatever it takes to keep the money flowing in.
The Feebies seem to have taken the "create the next Atta" approach.
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for DHS's presence at the Breast Cancer Walk. Had you read a bit more closely, you would have noticed that it's not any breast cancer walk. It's the Avon breast cancer walk. Now, what if the Avons got into a brawl with the Revlons? The fallout could be ruinous. The streets could run red with molten lipstick, and America could go up in a face powder cloud.
Yours crankily,
The New York Crank
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