Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, July 21, 2008

Western Union Cat; Pt. 2

I clipped George's claws last night. Of my three, he is the only one who vociferously objects to my clipping his claws. I have never cut them to the quick, nor has anyone else I know of, but he acts as though I am trying to perform surgery on him with the lid of a tin can.

So sure enough, after I was done torturing him by clipping his nails, he expressed his displeasure by dumping a load right next to my bed.

I'm going to start referring to his anus as the "Eye of Shit-On."

2 comments:

Smirking Cat said...

My demon cat simply chooses to remove great quantities of flesh when I trim his claws. I think I prefer that to the pile of shit.

BadTux said...

You need to get a dog, EBM. That takes care of the cat shit problem. Except that you then have to put the cat box up on a card table or something.

-- Badtux the Pet Penguin