Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, July 17, 2008

News and Snark

Airlines are cutting flights to increase load factors in order to stem their losses (like nobody saw that coming).

Once Anheuser-Busch sells itself to the Belgians, at least we can then say it is Belgian beer that tastes like diluted piss (you have to wonder who got stuck doing that taste test).

Man finds a knife baked into his Subway sandwich, no allegation of injury, but he sues for $1 million. His lawyer thinks it "might be malicious." I don't know about where he got his sandwich, but in the Subway joints I've bought them, I've never had to hang around while they bake the fucking bread. Let's run this bit of litigation past the Bullshit Meter:


I thought as much.

1 comment:

Mark Rossmore said...

I once found a staple in a key lime pie I was eating at a restaurant. You mean I missed out on my chance to grab a million bucks and add to the feral litigiousness of this country? I guess I did miss out when I walked up to the counter and said, "Hey, there was a staple in my pie. Can you get me another piece?"

What gets me is the lawyer claiming this was "malicious", suggesting that this Subway chain intentionally tried to harm his stupid "client". This slice of B.S. reminds of yet another slice of B.S.: Bride sues florist for $400,000. Also a New Yorker. Coincidence? Maybe not....