Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, April 24, 2023

Tuckyo Rose Hits the Bricks

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Fox News has announced that it has replaced Tucker Carlson with a state-of-the-art lying Chatbot.

In a brief statement, Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch thanked Carlson for his service but said that he had been “rendered obsolete by swift advances in lying technology.”

That he's parted ways with Fox is true.

Fox News said Monday that it is parting ways with prime-time host Tucker Carlson, whose stew of grievances and political theories about Russia and the Jan. 6 insurrection had grown to define the network in recent years and influence GOP politics.

Fox offered no explanation for the stunning move, saying that the last broadcast of “Tucker Carlson Tonight” aired last Friday.

Don't shed a tear for Tuckyo Rose; it's a good bet that he has a standing offer from Sputnik News or Russia Today. Probably to partner with Traitor Tulsi with live captions until they can learn enough Russian.

18 comments:

DTWND said...

Don Lemon is out at CNN also. Maybe the two of them can start their own network.
I viewed both of them as egotistical talking heads, albeit one more than the other.

Dale

Jones, Jon Jones said...

Or News Nation? I miss RT - they did a pretty good job of covering Europe unlike US media.

Ten Bears said...

He doesn't need the money, he's a trustfunder frat-boy married to a Rothschild.

He's the perfect scapegoat, and so easy to let go ...

Eck! said...

Tuckyo got bounced not for the lies but for crapping on his boss..

That's my call. His future employer should note that.


On the up side, he's gone.



Eck!

CenterPuke88 said...

Amusingly, he said he’d be back on Monday at the close of the show Friday…probably too much baggage now.

Stewart Dean said...

There was this wonderful shot in Hackwhackers:
Tucker Carlson is leaving Fox to spend more time with his fascism.

Stewart Dean said...

...and the Lincoln Project buried him:
https://youtu.be/oDjqJdSqoPY

Jimmy T said...

I've heard that Russia Today is now recruiting Tucker Carlson. Makes sense an accomplished liar would be useful to another propaganda outlet...

Ten Bears said...

Seems to me that if he weren't in some kind of deep shit he'd be making more noise about it. He could have booked onto any nutball show within minutes of the announcement to fight back. He didn't. He's keeping quiet, Fox is keeping quiet, all else is speculation.

It's not like he needs the money, third generation robber baron married to a Rothschild ...

Jones, Jon Jones said...

No court testimony for you. More settlement negotiating room. Hannity/Prothero survives?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmwkmdBXKSw

Glenn Kelley said...

There's a clip of a Dutch guy telling Tucker that he's just a millionaire shilling for billionaires.
The interview ended early.

dan gerene said...

This morning's Detroit News said that Tucks and Fox "agreed to part ways". All indications is that Tuckie might not have known about his side of the agreement. It would be a sure thing that he didn't suspect that he would be the scapegoat after doing what Faux Noise wanted for years but, money going out, not in, talks.

CenterPuke88 said...

Interested in how this plays out with the Smartmatic lawsuit. That leaves Tucky free to testify against Faux News, but potentially a separate target given his released admissions…unless he’s out of the reach of the courts…

Mooneyguy said...

Want a chilling thought? A BBC report included a remark that Tucker might run for president. Carlson in 2028? Horrifying but possible.

CenterPuke88 said...

Just in, Carlson and Lemon both hired the same attorney…Bryan Freedman. He’s apparently the preeminent shyster for this particular thing.

Eck! said...

Giggles..

One of the Faux people is screaming that *ucker being fired is a
attack on god! Seriously? He was fired by his boss, dog had nothing
to do with it. He was fired for being loathsome rude trash to his employer.


Eck!

Comrade Misfit said...

Maybe Freedman can broker jobs for both with Russia Today.

Jones, Jon Jones said...

Ask and ye shall receive
https://www.newsweek.com/tucker-carlson-gets-offer-russia-state-media-1796379