Pandemic Humor

Color Me Surprised; Not

Two Florida businessmen tied to President Donald Trump’s lawyer and the Ukraine investigation were charged Thursday with federal campaign finance violations. The charges relate to a $325,000 donation to a group supporting Trump’s reelection.

Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, associates of Rudy Giuliani, were arrested on a four-count indictment that includes charges of conspiracy, making false statements to the Federal Election Commission and falsification of records. The men had key roles in Giuliani’s efforts to launch a Ukrainian corruption investigation against Democratic presidential contender Joe Biden and his son Hunter.

You can guess which two of these five crooks were arrested:

Reports are that both men had lunch with Giuliani at the Trump Hotel in D.C. before they went to Dulles Airport with one-way tickets out of the country.

Given that they were both fleeing the country, it's a fair assumption that neither one will be released on bail. It would be logical to expect that one, if not both, will be happy to tell the prosecutors everything they know to avoid spending a long time in prison.

Which could be that Giuliani is one rat-job away from being indicted.

Maybe the Bureau of Prisons can repaint Bernie Kerik's old cell for Rudy.

You Know What Day It Is

Pi Day:

In Indiana, there was once a chance that it would have been on March 2nd.

Bet His Bone Spurs Won't Stop This Trip to Vietnam

President Donald Trump will hold a two-day summit with North Korea leader Kim Jong Un Feb. 27-28 in Vietnam to continue his efforts to persuade Kim to give up his nuclear weapons.

It's pretty clear to anyone outside of the process that Kim is playing Trump like a cheap cello. Kim talked Trump into canceling two exercises between the U.S. and South Korea, for which Trump got absolutely nothing.

Trump's goal is patently clear: He wants a Nobel Peace Prize in order to put a gloss on his train-wreck of a presidency.

Obfuscating the Issue

Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee helped fund research that led to the now-infamous dossier of allegations about President Donald Trump and Russia, a source familiar with the matter told CNN.

Anyone with a basic familiarity about how large political campaigns knows that opposition research is a common enough tool. Which is why this is a bullshit story.

What matters is whether or not the material in the Trump Dossier are true. And so far, the indications are that they are.

Which isn't stopping The Oldest Toddler from claiming that he's the victim. Right. The guy whose campaign was in communication with Russian spies in order to get dirt on Clinton is claiming to be the victim? And let's not forget that the original customer for that research was a Republican.

It is to laugh. But don't worry, the Right Wing Noise Machine will be in full cry over this by noontime today, if not sooner.

What Sort of Microcephalic Sociopath Says Things Like This Out Loud?

Trump told a reporter that the country has “great people” responding to the massive storms and that “a group that really deserves tremendous credit is the United States Coast Guard," according to a White House pool report.

“What they've done — I mean, they've gone right into that, and you never know. When you go in there, you don't know if you're going to come out. They are really — if you talk about branding, no brand has improved more than the United States Coast Guard,” Trump said.

96% of Trump Voters

They'd vote for him again if the election were held again, today.

Well, no fucking shit. Why are people so amazed at that statistic? Have they forgotten what the choice was?

Fuck You, 2016

Debbie Reynolds has died.

Carrie Fisher Has Died. Can We Just Skip to 2017, Already?

Carrie Fisher, a daughter of Hollywood royalty who gained pop-culture fame as Princess Leia in the original "Star Wars" and turned her struggles with addiction and mental illness into wickedly funny books, a hit film and a one-woman stage show, died Tuesday after falling ill aboard a flight last week. She was 60.

Toljaso

I have said, over and over again, my friend, that the Democrats' love of gun control would cost them.

Damn the Democratic Party. Damn Everyone Who Won't Damn the Democratic Party. Damn Everyone Who Won't Sit Up All Night, Damning the Democratic Party.

In an election cycle in which the Republicans nominated their most beatable candidate since Alf Landon, something that was fairly clear since February, you had to nominate Hillary Rodham Fucking Clinton.

How good a candidate was Clinton? She had more baggage than the Queen Mary 2. Vilified by the Right since the 1980s, Clinton's reputation was of one of the most secretive and untrustworthy politicians since Richard Nixon. Two years before the election, it was clear to the most casual observer that she had more negatives than the Life Magazine photo archive. But no, the party couldn't see that. Led by Debbie Wasserman Schulz, a hardcore Clinton ally, the party did everything possible to ensure that Clinton would not see any competition for the nomination. When a challenger did arise, the party elites did everything possible to hamstring him.

So, Democratic elites, this is, in part, on you.

America has given a large "fuck you" to the rest of the world and global stability will weaken, if not collapse outright. Expect the Chinese and the Russians to move to expand their spheres of influences. By mid-2017, don't be surprised if the Russians have Ukraine or the Baltics and that the South China Sea has become, de facto, Chinese waters. We've elected a man who has no concept of honoring agreements. His entire business career has been a pattern of breaking his word and sticking others with the bill. The leaders of other nations, if they don't know this already, will be briefed on that by their respective intelligence services before the week is out. They will know that America's word is no longer any good, that only a fool will rely on past American assurances or treaties in the event of a conflict.

In short, the American nuclear umbrella will be furled.

Do not be astonished if the number of nuclear nations increases by at least two by 2020, with South Korea and Japan topping the probables list. It's not too far-fetched to suppose that Mexico may begin to arm and train its military for doing more traditional tasks than acting as an internal security force. In doing that, Mexico may look for a counterweight ally; basing rights may be granted in Mexican ports and military airports may be constructed.

At home, we've chosen a man to be president who based his campaign on misogyny, racism, antisemitism and xenophobia, appealing to the worst in Americans. Expect that the racist hate groups will begin to take actions on the belief that the Trump Administration* will turn a blind eye to such things.

If you're a member of any sort of minority, life is about to get harder. If you're Muslim, wager that Trump's promise to be "a president for all Americans" doesn't include you.

And finally, if you voted in this election, do not be overly shocked if you don't soon have another opportunity to cast your ballot.
_______________________________
* I just threw up in my mouth.

I Got Yer 2016 Election Simile Right Here

I'm going to bed.

No Matter Who Wins, Some of You Will Be Feeling This Way Tonight

Personally, I am swamped. I took a long weekend for a family visit and now I'm digging out, professionally speaking. The TV will be off tonight so that I can read reports for tomorrow.

And it's not as though I can do anything about it, either way.

The nice thing is that today is the first day in weeks that the mail hasn't brought political flyers from one side alleging that the other guy is so crooked that even the shade of Al Capone is saying "really, bud?"

Is the Country Going to be OK?

Magic 8-Ball says:

From your window to G-d's eyeballs. 

The Stars Align

Between court hearings and personal travel, I won't be able to either pay much attention to the news or blog about it until sometime next week (likely, after everything is over but the shooting).

Can't say that I'm sad about that. My state is not in play for the presidency, but for everything else, I am getting to the point that if I could sign off on an order to drown most of those clowns running political ads, I'd do it in a picosecond. About the only channels that I can watch that doesn't run those ads are PBS and the Weather Channel.

Speaking of PBS, Nature is running a two-part show on the evolution of cats. The first episode is tonight.

The Irony is Almost Palpable, Voter Fraud Edition

A Des Moines woman has been arrested on suspicion of voting twice this month in the general election, police and court records show.

Terri Lynn Rote, 55, was booked into the Polk County Jail about 3:40 p.m. Thursday on a first-degree election misconduct charge, which is a Class D felony.

Rote, a registered Republican, reportedly cast an early voting ballot at the Polk County Election Office, 120 Second Ave., and another ballot at a county satellite voting location in Des Moines, according to a Des Moines police report.

So, why'd she do it?

According to an Iowa Public Radio report, Rote voted two times for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.

“I wasn’t planning on doing it twice, it was spur of the moment,” Rote said in an interview with the radio station before she added an oft-repeated line on the Trump campaign trail: “The polls are rigged.”

Trump Wants to Scrap the Constitution and be Named Dictator-for-Life

How many more things does that short-fingered lunatic have to say to convince everyone that he's not fit to be elected as a Killer of Dogs, let alone President?

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump criticized Democrat Hillary Clinton on Thursday over her trade policies, saying she would handle trade deals so badly that the country should "just cancel the election" and name him the victor.

Speaking to supporters in Toledo, Ohio, Trump said the North American Free Trade Agreement signed by Clinton's husband, former President Bill Clinton, had led to the outsourcing of thousands of Ohio jobs to Mexico, a practice he vowed to stop if elected president on Nov. 8.

"We should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump, right?" he said. "What are we even having it for? Her policies are so bad."

Can you imagine the sheer volume of uproar on the Right if Clinton even hinted at such a thing? But Trump declares that he wants to be named dictator and not a peep.

There are some serious sufferers of Clinton Derangement Syndrome if they would vote for a man who openly aspires to be a dictator. At this point, he really wouldn't lose any votes if there was video showing him setting fire to homeless people.

Significant Others; Politics Ed.

From here

Amateur Hour Campaigning

The Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association, a group made up largely of white men with disposable income, submitted a list of questions to both presidential campaigns concerning the importance of general aviation.

Clinton's campaign responded.

Trump's campaign didn't.

AOPA 2016 U.S. Presidential Candidate Questionnaire
Donald J. Trump, Republican Candidate for President

After multiple attempts via many communication channels, no response was received from the candidate as of press time (candidates were given six weeks to respond).

Clinton's campaign responded.

You're running for office. You get a free shot to speak to about 400,000 people who probably will largely turn out to vote. A hell of a lot of them are able to write decent checks to support a candidate. And it may be a reasonable bet that the majority of them are sympathetic to your party.

So why the fuck would you blow off a chance to get your message across to them?

Amateurs.

Ratfucking, Latina Style

Not just the t-shirt that was worn to a Trump event, but getting one's photo taken with one of the Spawn of Trump while wearing the t-shirt.

Classic bit of ratfucking, that.