Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Now For Something Very Serious

Dave Barry's column on getting a colonoscopy.

If you are of the age where you should get one or if you have been advised to get one done, in the words of Larry the Cable Guy: Git `er done!

The bowel prep is annoying, granted. But that's the only annoying part. The procedure is done under anesthesia. And you won't even feel as though somebody has rammed a periscope up your ass.

Not getting one is like not paying attention to reality in the hopes of what you don't know won't come back to hurt you. That's living in a bubble and you can see how well that policy has worked for George Bush. Even Bush got a colonoscopy, and so can you.

Get `er done.

2 comments:

Fixer said...

Excellent advice, pal!

42 said...

I had my first one done around age 41 because of mystery pain, which I still have, but as there wasn't anyone available to go with me I had to have it done without sedation. It hurt like hell, but the enormous blasting farts you emit during the process from all the air they blow up yer ass kind of made it endurable. Doc said she'd never had anyone laugh during one of em before.

now I'm due for another one and I may have to bribe someone to go with me because despite the fart hilarity I do NOT want to go through that again. spending the night before strapped to the toilet is bad enough (though maybe Barry's vodka-in-the-laxative tip might help).