Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Friday, September 18, 2020

What Trump Could Do If He Loses the Election

As it has been eminently clear for decades, Donald Trump is a petty and vindictive man.  So if he loses the election, especially if he loses bigly (to use his word, he has the best words), what single thing could he do to fuck over the country, short of starting a nuclear war?

This would have to be something that is within his power as the president.  It has to be something that is beyond the power to review of the Congress or the courts. It has to be something that is immediate.

This is what I came up with:  Issue a pardon to everyone who has been convicted of, or who has been charged with, a Federal crime.  Between those sitting in some sort of Federal stir and those facing charges, that's probably something like 200,000 people.  Add in those who have served their time and are now free, the numbers might be in the millions.

Now, to be fair, some wouldn't walk out the gates.  For example, The Asshole Who Shot Up a Church in Charleston was also convicted on state charges, so he'd go from Death Row to the state pen. 

Reichsfuhrer Stephen Miller might ask Trump to only pardon American citizens, in order to reward Miller for his loyalty.  But loyalty to Dimbulb Donnie is very much a one-way street, so Trump would probably tell him to fuck off.

Every federal prison, including Guantanamo, would immediately be emptied out.  Tens of thousands of prison employees would be furloughed.  Judges and prosecutors would be sitting in their offices, surfing the Internet for porn or taking long lunches.  

Everyone who was pardoned, at least those who didn't have state felony convictions, could walk on down to the local gun store and buy a gun, as well as register to vote.  Those who lost their parental rights as a result of being sent to prison could petition to reopen those cases.  Aldrich Ames and Robert Hanssen could move into a dacha outside of Moscow next door to Trump's place.

The resultant chaos could be epic.

Which would be Trump's goal.

10 comments:

Constitutional Insurgent said...

And the. I’ll would support him with out question. “Law and order” my ass.......

Ten Bears said...

I have learned down through the years that the problem with dabbling in fortune telling is you might be right. And that can really suck.

dinthebeast said...

He's such a narcissist that I can only really see him pardoning himself and those close to him. You never know with him though.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Dark Avenger said...

Lots of us liberals with guns that don’t regard them as phallic replacement bang toys.

CI said...

Wow.....posting from a phone really isn't my forte [don't have the thumbs of a 13 year old girl....]

My comment above should have read: And the Trump cult would support him with out question. “Law and order” my ass.......

Eck! said...

I'd bet on simple and not thought far out...

Resign on the basis that Pence pardons him.
Then it would be the potted plant trying to not transfer the
keys of government in any useful way to them democrats.

However in the realm of fortune telling this is the year of
the jackpot and I've not shot a unicorn, jackalope, or a
Dragon, yet. The unicorn is however possible as there is
so much unicorn poop around, especially on social pages.


Eck!

Antibubba said...

Eck,

If I were the Democratic leadership, I'd explain to the current Vice President that making those pardons would free up the new DOJ to turn their full investigative energy on HIM.

But Trump can't be pardoned for crimes he hasn't been charged or convicted for.

dinthebeast said...

Wait, didn't Ford issue a "preemptive pardon" to Nixon?

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Comrade Misfit said...

Trump could first pardon Mikey.

Green Eagle said...

Fun fact: Accepting a pardon involves admitting that you are guilty, so I do not believe that it would allow ex-felons to own guns. Incidentally, this is why Trump commuted Roger Stone's sentence rather than pardoned him. If Stone admitted his guilt by accepting the pardon, he would lose his protection against self-incrimination, and could be forced to testify in further trials. The commutation preserved Stone's right to keep his mouth shut.