Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, February 6, 2015

Shorter St. Louis Cops: "Fuck You and Your Alibi."

How's this for a story premise:
So there's a purse-snatching in St. Louis. The cops grabbed up some random black dude, pretty much the first guy they came across, took him back to the scene and asked the victim "Dis da guy?" Witless says so, the cops arrest the guy and charge him.

Turns out the guy has a solid alibi. Tells the cops that. Cops don't give a shit. The witless told the cops that the guy who did the crime was wearing a hoodie and felony shoes. The guy they grabbed up was wearing a leather jacket and work boots. Cops didn't give a shit. As far as they were concerned, the vic ID'd the perp, case closed, and it was off to Pooh's Corner for some cold ones.

So finally, this all comes out. The guy they grabbed up was at a family birthday party, where pictures were taken and, surprise, surprise, surprise, the guy was in some of the pictures. It takes almost three months for this to be cleared up and, in the meantime, the guy the cops snatched up is losing business because people think he's a hoodlum.

So when this all comes out, the boss cop's mouthpiece refuses to say that his cops did anything wrong and says: "The system worked."
Sounds like a real loser of a story, right? Except it's all true.

It would seem that compared to the St. Louis police detectives, Officer Toody was as smart as Sherlock Holmes.

2 comments:

Nangleator said...

The crazy thing is, they don't mind letting a real criminal off without pursuit. All they really want is one black man in jail per crime.

One of the very few things we even want them for is putting criminals in jail, and they've given up on that, too. Their self-righteous superiority is one of the most unjustified concepts in all of our rotten society.

Deadstick said...

Round up the usual suspects...