Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, February 20, 2015

Breakfast Joke

So there was a woman cooking breakfast for herself and her husband. She's wearing the oversized t-shirt that she wore to bed. Her husband came into the kitchen, still in his PJs. He poured himself a cup of coffee.

Suddenly, the wife pulled off her t-shirt and said: "I want you to make love to me right here, right now!"

The husband was delighted and they had sex right on the edge of the counter. When they finished, the wife pulled her t-shirt back on and went to the stove.

The husband said: "That was wonderful, dear, but what brought that on?"

The wife shrugged and replied: "My egg timer's broken."

1 comment:

CenterPuke88 said...

I guess she likes the eggs really soft boiled!