Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Army is Trying to Help Soldiers Adjust to Civilian Life

By classroom training.
The Soldier To Civilian Work Program (SCWP) is designed to help soldiers assess their skills and help them get a head-start into the civilian world.

Lieutenant General Thomas Bostick believes this is an important step to help military members transition from the battlefield into the office.

“Many soldiers leave the Army with no idea of how to fill out a résumé, or even how to behave in a job interview. Our goal with the SCWP is to teach these soldiers that on your list of previous experiences, it’s not okay to put ‘Hadji Killing 08-10.’”
Needless to say, some of the soldiers are a bit baffled:
“I went to a mock interview in my best t-shirt that says something like ‘Ranger the Fuck Up.’ The civilians that were hired to do this mock interview told me that I should consider something more classy, like maybe a button up shirt at the least. My shirt collection includes a ‘Beards Save Lives‘ shirt, but I don’t even own a button up. Who knew that was important?”
Some are, as you might expect, resistant to the Army's efforts to help them:
When asked if he’d even tried the program, Smith said, “Yeah I tried that shit, but they said that for job experience on my résumé I can’t put ‘Major League Infidel,’ or even ‘I shot lots of machineguns.’ It’s ridiculous man, I DID shoot lots of machineguns!”
The general in charge was showing a little frustration at that kind of attitude:“If these retards can’t get it through their thick skulls that McDonald’s doesn’t care how many weapon systems you’re qualified on, then I don’t know what else to try.”

5 comments:

Deadstick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deadstick said...

Maybe they should show these guys "The Best Years of Our Lives"...

Joe said...

After the first Gulf War, I hired a guy because he had "Tank Commander" listed on his resumé under "Other Interests". I thought that was a good place to mention it.

Anonymous said...

I think you should remind people that Duffelblog posts are satire, and at least partly imaginary. Far too many people get taken in by them!

Comrade Misfit said...

One of the labels on that post says: "humor".