Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, January 6, 2012

Pour Yourself a Nice Cold Glass of Mouse-Dissolver

Ugh.
Too much fizzy drink will rot your teeth, but if you are a small rodent, and if the drink happens to be called Mountain Dew, then it's actually capable of dissolving your entire body.

So claims PepsiCo, the global drinks behemoth which has cited the extraordinarily-corrosive nature of its bright green, citrus-flavoured product in an effort to defend itself against a personal injury lawsuit
.
This doesn't pass the sniff-test for me. Assume, for the moment, that a mouse fell into the can. the can goes down the production line, the soda is poured into the can and the top is crimped onto the can. A mouse weighs about an ounce or so. Since mice can swim, assume that they have a positive buoyancy, so let's go with they have a full-volume displacement of 1.3oz. In a 12 ounce can of soda, that means that 10.7 ounces will be Mountain Dew, the rest being our unfortunate mouse.

Is 10.7 ounces of Mountain Dew enough to dissolve a mouse? I have my doubts, but I'm not undertaking a research study.

Either way, ingesting a liquid that can dissolve small mammals does not seem to be terribly wise. If what you want is a achingly sweetened cold drink with caffeine, might I suggest that you switch to iced coffee or tea? You can make moth at home for a lot less money than buying cans of Pepsi Mouse Dissolver.

6 comments:

Eck! said...

Their claim is would render the mouse to a gell is specious. First off I doubt it would dissolve the fur and some parts.

From my perspective what the drink does to the mouse is meaningless as the fact that there was a detectable
mouse there is already a problem.

That and it will rot most everything.

I gave most of that carp up wen I noticed the cans had poor shelflife due to corrosion and leaking from within.. Pepsi gak!

Eck!

w3ski said...

I remember the "coke and aspirin disolve nails" test too.
Either way Nobody can say any of the "sodas' are good for you.
EEEchhh.
w3ski
also remember the FDA allows so many rodent pieces as well as other "debri" in most foods.

bmq215 said...

Eck!,

I think that their claim about decomposition is more of an attempt to prove that the mouse entered the can after the consumer opened it, rather than at the factory...

montag said...

I always had my doubts about a drink that looked the same going in as it does coming out.

Sue Burke said...

Soft drinks, whether Coke or Mountain Dew or whatever, are so acid that they will leach calcium out of your body to neutralize it. That's why I don't drink them anymore. I have enough problems with incipient osteoporosis. On the other hand (this is the good news), beer helps strengthen bones, so the choice is clear. Prosit!

Unknown said...

Sounds like a job for "Mythbuters"