Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My Bologna Has a First Name, It's C-A-N-C-E-R

According to a study published in the British Journal of Cancer, individuals who consume too much processed or red meat may have an increased risk of developing pancreatic cancer.

Researchers discovered that compared to individuals who ate no meat, for every 50 grams of processed meat consumed each day - equivalent to two rashers (streaks) of bacon or a sausage - the risk of pancreatic cancer increased by 19%.
The article goes on to say, however, that the link between processed meat and pancreatic cancer was only shown for me. for women, the results were "inconclusive".

But there was no way in Hell that I could resist the snark of the title for this post.

You might be able to counter the risk by increasing your daily intake of nickel and selenium. Doesn't sound too appealing, though. I'll bet that in a month, you will be able to find that dietary supplement at GNC.

6 comments:

Bridget Magnus said...

If this is the study I am remembering, there are a lot of caveats. Was it the meat, or was it that modern meat production results in way more Omega 6 and not enough Omega 3 Fatty Acids? Was it the nitrites or other additives in the processed meats? Was it the salt used to process it? Was it some unknown factor introduced in industrial meat production? Does the way the meat was cooked have an impact? And finally, what if the actual cancer-causing agent was something most people were eating with the meat?

In the end "meat is associated with cancer" is as vague and potentially misleading as "natural things are good for you."

BadTux said...

And Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer yet was a Buddhist vegetarian. So maybe meat'll increase your chances, but going vegetarian doesn't make you immune. Personally, while I partake of the meat of the mighty Tofu beast more often than not, I'm *not* going to forsake my twice-monthy trip to In-n-Out just for a tiny infinitesimal decrease in my chances of getting pancreatic cancer... I'm gonna die someday anyhow, and likely of some cancer or another (pretty much everybody from Louisiana does, something to do with the air we breathe and the water we drink, duh), so I might as well enjoy life a *little* while I'm at it.

- Badtux the Percentages Penguin

BadTux said...

BTW, anytime someone says "natural things are good for you", I point out to them that cyanide is natural.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Comrade Misfit said...

cyanide is natural

So is molten lava.

The New York Crank said...

Will all you people stop being so infernally rational and scientific and instead sing along with me:

O I want to be an Oscar Mayer tumor....


Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

Joe said...

Nothing wrong with the water in Louisiana. At least, it was fine when the Minnesotans drank it, and the Iowans, and the Missourians, and the Tennesseans...

(The older the joke, the better I like it!)