Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Flying Cattle Cars

Fixer on flying the airlines:
I've been flying since I was 4 years old, when my parents would put me on a plane (Lufthansa or IcelandAir 707) in the summer and send me to Germany to stay with the family until September. It used to be an event. Men would dress (I gotta dig up a pic of me in my little suit with a bow tie) for the occasion and customer service was Job One.

The flying experience was something to be enjoyed; gate agents and crew doing their best to make you feel at ease and rested by the time you got where you were going. In 30 years, it's turned into a nightmare; something to be avoided at all costs in my book.
As Don Brown has pointed out, the airline business was created by the government and, for most of their history, depended on government subsidies to develop airplanes and for operating subsidies. The original subsidies were paid though the Post Office for carrying airmail.[1] If you look at a photograph of a pre-war airliner, you may see a notation of "AM-#", which referred to the airmail route flown by the airplane.

The Federal government controlled what airlines flew what routes, how often, and approved their rates. That left customer service as the one area where the airlines could compete with each other. And they did. You could check the bags you wanted, up to a maximum weight that almost nobody ever reached. Flights had meals. The only charges assessed, and only in coach, were for alcoholic beverages and movie headsets.

But then came deregulation.[2] Airlines began competing on price, and they did.

This was the life of a pre-deregulation stewardess. This was the life of a post-deregulation, pre 9-11 flight attendant. (And post-9-11.)

Airlines quickly learned that most travelers cared only about two things: Whether they could get a flight to where they wanted to go and how much it cost. Airlines have tried, from time to time, to increase the distance between seat row ("seat pitch") and advertised that as "giving you more leg room." But time and time again, they have found out that passengers will fly the other carriers' sardine cans if the price is right.

Then, of course, came 9-11 and the focus on security. Airline crews realized that they could have a complaining traveler arrested if they so chose, and many chose to wield that power like a NYPD cop. Flight attendants have been known to threaten even mildly complaining passengers with arrest.

And then the airlines figured out that they can extort fees from passengers for everything. Paper ticket: Pay a fee. You want to check a bag: Pay a fee. You want a can of soda: Oh, that'll cost you. Blankets and those scummy pillows are either gone altogether or you can pay a fee. People ponied up.

So now what? After 30+ years, we aren't going to go back to the days when the CAB controlled the airlines. The only tool we have, now, and it is one everyone has, is to choose not to fly when you can.

And when the airlines scream to the government how they need subsidies for something, call your congressman and push back at the bastards.

[1] Did you know that from the 1920s through at least WW2, airline pilots were required to carry firearms for the protection of the U.S. Mail?
[2] The next time you find yourself in an aerial livestock carrier with flight attendants who have all the personality of CIA torturers, remember to thank Jimmy Carter.

3 comments:

SkinnyDennis said...

Flying Amtrak again for the 3rd year in a row x-country this summer.

Yep, avoid the plane when I can.

Unknown said...

i first flew NWA DC-4's and Stratocruisers and it was fun, especially when my Dad - an air traffic controller when the FAA was still the CAA - was up front and got the Stews to make a little fuss over a 6 year old... after the last torture i went through on an Airbus i won't fly anywhere i can drive... but then torture is the new normal and almost no one is left who can remember a better experience.

Fixer said...

Thanks for the linkage, Comrade! We're doing Bermuda at the end of April and going in and out of the Brooklyn Cruise Port. In August, we're flying to Amsterdam and floating back to Brooklyn. Fuck the airlines any way I can.