Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Top 5 Rules of Airline Flying

MSNBC has their top five rules of airline flying.Here are mine:
  1. Stay home and do it by videoconference if at all possible. If not;
  2. Amtrak; or
  3. Drive; or
  4. Fly private. Even bouncing around for five hours and two legs in a Cessna 172 beats having to deal with the strip-searching and luggage-contents-stealing goons of the TSA. But if all else fails;
  5. Send a ticket to whomever you need to see and have them come to you.

4 comments:

SkinnyDennis said...

Amtrak yeah! I've been doing x-country by rail for a couple of years, only way to not-fly.

Sarah said...

And of course, the very best seat on any plane is "0-A" ?

BadTux said...

Yeah rub it in people. I spent four hours bouncing around in an aluminum tube today to go to a rust belt city where I'm going to train some people on our software, with the weather forecast being snow and ice tomorrow yo. I got chosen because everybody else has holiday duties with kids and etc. and I don't, they figured out I'm single and only have cats, who don't care about holidays, just about whether they have sufficient kibble, water, and toilet supplies. Merry f***ing Christmas to me, ho ho ho.

- Badtux the Flying (alas) Penguin

Cujo359 said...

Your rules make more sense. For instance, bringing food onto a plane isn't all that easy. Some airports feature places where you can buy some food that you can take on, but getting food past the TSA? I won't even try that until I'm pretty sure the alternative is starvation.