Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Caturday Preloaded

Today is the 23rd and, as I expect the rest of the week to be somewhat hectic, I am preloading Caturday.

George, Shitcake Extraordinare. After I take a shower, he wants his treats and they have to be given to him on the middle shelf of a bookcase, in a glass custard cup, which is his treats dish. If I don't give them to him, he'll knock that cup on the (thankfully) carpeted floor.

Bella, my friend's cat, is hiding upstairs at her house:

Bella is about 3 years old, is a sweet cat and is half the size of her other cat, Rocky (see last week's Caturday). At times Rocky tries to be friends, at other times he tries to beat the shit out of her. So she hates him. When I pet Bella, she will move around so she can nudge my other hand as if to say: "You have two hands, get to work adoring me."

and of course, Gracie, the Queen:

She is complaining as I type this because I am not petting her enough.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

We don't own them. They own us.

Distributorcap said...

carlos didnt like his xmas present - so he aint talking to me right now

Comrade Misfit said...

Cats think you should give them presents more than once or twice a year.

42 said...

George has trained you well.

Fortunately, Crackers is just a big orange catloaf whose favorite thing in the world is sleep, so he doesn't really care about treats (he'll eat them if proffered, but doesn't demand them) or toys.

Catnip OTOH...

PhysioProf said...

Cats are fucking hilarious.