Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, November 19, 2007

Vile! Pew! Pew! Pew!

I'm usually the first coffee-drinker to show up at Ye Olde Salte Mine, so I get to make the first pot of coffee. I did this morning and when I went to draw a cup, I noticed there was no milk. I called a co-worker on her cell and asked her to stop off at the store and pick up a quart of half-and-half.

She did. She bought non-fat half-and-half.

Non-fat half-and-half has got to be the worst concept ever. The sole reason for half-and-half is to have something that has almost all of the tastiness of cream but a little less fat.

There is another term for non-fat half-and-half: Skim milk. I used the non-fat stuff and let me tell you, it is not just vile, it is fucking vile. Non-fat half-and-half is such a horrible concept that if George Bush ran a dairy farm, that's be what the cows produced.

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