Just an Earth-Bound Misfit: The Rantings of an Aging, Armed, Pinko Chick

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, December 25, 2017

Cleared for Approach at BINP

Santa One, cleared for GPS approach and to land."

"Cleared for GPS approach and landing, Santa One."

Merry Christmas, everyone!

17 comments:

CenterPuke88 said...: That’s a dangerously short runway if he loses one, fully loaded, on takeoff...as the old flight instructor joke used to go.; 12/25/2017 12:03 PM
Comrade Misfit said...: The dreaded seven-reindeer takeoff.; 12/25/2017 5:24 PM
CenterPuke88 said...: Yea, it’s actually a flight inspector joke...but, auto-correct.

FAA Flight Instructor is visiting Santa in early December. Checks all the paperwork, goes through the waivers, and finally, it’s time for the flight check. So the Inspector has a shotgun when he climbs into the sleigh, and Santa, obviously puzzled, asks why. The Inspector says, “I’m not supported to tell you this, but you’re gonna lose one on takeoff.”; 12/25/2017 5:44 PM
Iron City said...: Luckily it is pretty much centerline thrust, though that would be a limitation on his license. Can Santa do it with a regular old multiengine license or does he need a sleigh/reindeer type rating?; 12/25/2017 8:27 PM
Comrade Misfit said...: I don't know if the reindeer have enough horsepower to qualify for a type rating.

Santa's time in the sled probably qualifies as "ME-centerline thrust" time, as there's not enough asymmetrical thrust.; 12/26/2017 8:19 AM
CenterPuke88 said...: Perhaps Multi-Engine Land/Roof - Centerline Thrust? And, on that note, at what forward velocity does Santa and/or the other deer have an exhaust issue?; 12/26/2017 10:12 AM
Anonymous said...: Actually there is a problem with GPS at the pole. Since the signal from all six satellites in the northern ring are received simultaneously the GPS will throw up a flag and stop providing an input to the FMS. Fortunately INS still works and if you know what time it is at Greenwich (Zulu time) you can take a bearing off the sun. Bring lots of fuel, if Alert is socked in, the alternate is Svalbard.

Al_in_Ottawa; 12/26/2017 10:51 AM
Ole Phat Stu said...: Surely this a case of misidentification? North Pole is on Highway 2 near Fairbanks Alaska, and the airfield is

AIRWAY FIELD, 5AK3
North Pole, AK 99705
Elevation 488'

And to Anon: You cannot take a bearing off the sun there in winter, because it is below the horizon, afaik ;-); 12/26/2017 11:54 AM
Iron City said...: Anon:
Possibly receiving the 6 signals at exactly the same time could cause the receiver to throw a flag but (1) who among us can fly that accurately? and (2) if the flag is thrown because of simultaneous reception of the signals you know you are at 90 degrees North latitude and who cares the longitude. Just make sure you are in the correct hemisphere and not 90 degrees South.

There is also North Pole New York at 321 Whiteface Mountain Memorial Highway 12997.; 12/26/2017 8:39 PM
Anonymous said...: There is also a Jerusalem in New York state,
Jerusalem, New York 14478, USA.

Maybe that's the one Trump meant? ;-); 12/27/2017 3:30 AM
CenterPuke88 said...: Just fly the NDB Approach.; 12/27/2017 9:36 PM
Anonymous said...: Stu, no one flies to the pole in the winter. The only reasons to go to the pole are to wave the flag as Vlad the Invader is claiming the pole belongs to Russia or to pick up the loonies who have trekked there on skis or dog sleds. In '87 or '88, when I was a lowly apprentice, Gorbachev met Canadian PM Mulroney at the pole for a 'friendship summit' photo op and in '13 or '14 the Louis St Laurent steamed (dieseled?) to the pole. Somehow I got roped into the risk assessment meeting for the ice reconnaissance flights that would scout the best path for the ice-breaker. One of the pilots had been over the pole before GPS was invented. He brought his charts and his big watch set to GMT and when the GPS said "WTF? I can't work in these conditions!" he took a sun shot and set the course for CFS Alert.

Remember that at the pole all directions are south, your compass is worthless, and the nearest human habitation is over 500 miles away, so you better pick the right bearing.

Al_in_Ottawa; 12/27/2017 9:36 PM
CenterPuke88 said...: Now I’m wondering what the worst possible line of longitude South would be? Maybe just skirting east of Iceland and west of Ireland, ending up with no land till Africa?; 12/28/2017 2:41 PM
Comrade Misfit said...: CP88, you're right: Fly the NDB. The ADF needle doesn't care about compass headings.; 12/28/2017 4:15 PM
Iron City said...: Comrade Misfit:

True, The ADF doesn't care about compass heading but it also points at any old radio signal it detects. The best uses of the ADF I ever found in GA airplanes were (1) listen to the baseball game and (2) see if there were any thunderstorms about because it will point them out to you. Granted, there aren't likely any thunderstorms at 90 north.

A long time ago in another galaxy got to go in Transport Canada's Dash 8 (believe it was, maybe a Dash 7) they used for flight inspection and in the very back there were the engine covers, containers for oil and heaters for getting the whole mess thawed if they had to RON at Alert or Churchill or some such balmy outpost. Takes skill, determination and I don't want to know about brass ones for that kind of flying.; 12/28/2017 4:37 PM
Anonymous said...: Iron City, Transport Canada operated two -8s C-GCFJ and C-GCFK as airways calibrators from '86 to '97. The -8s usually would leave on Monday from Ottawa and return on Thursday or Friday, sometimes the trip would be two weeks depending on weather etc.

There were also two CL601s but they mostly were used for the west coast and for unscheduled recalibration of the ILS at the major airports such as Toronto and Montreal. In '96 or '97 the government created NavCan as an independent agency and transferred both CL601s (C-FCGH and C-FCGI if memory serves, I know they were S/N 020 and 022) and C-GCFK to the new agency. C-GCFJ was stripped of the flight calibration gear and outfitted for maritime pollution patrol and is currently based in Moncton, NB. It has a package developed by Swedish Space Corp, which is now referred to as S&T because we can't pronounce (or spell) Sjorlund & Thorsomethingorother. Remember Deepwater Horizon? CFJ spent the entire summer in Louisianna and Texas, flying over the Gulf each day to map the slick, the IR/UV scanner can measure the thickness of the oil slick and the area and calculate exactly how many litres of oil there are. Yes, the crews bitched about the heat and humidity, constantly.

I think you would remember the -7, it's the only one ever built with an observer's cupola sticking out the top. Here's an article
from a few years ago. Google C-GCFR for better pictures, I don't have any good ones, there's always other planes and maintenance stands in the way when it's in the hangar.
https://www.skiesmag.com/news/18525-maritime-protector-html/

Al_in_Ottawa; 12/28/2017 8:48 PM
Yoda said...: If a pilot is shooting the NDB, what is he/she using as the FAF? The plate states that there is not FAF on this approach. No timing, no DME.
Anonymous; 9/29/2019 5:51 PM