Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, December 5, 2011

"No Brains Required to Work Here"; TSA Edition

Indeed, a functioning cortex is probably a detriment for employment with the TSA.
Vanessa Gibbs, 17, said officials with the Transportation Security Administration at Norfolk International Airport stopped her during a security screening because they said her handbag -- which has the shape of a gun designed on it -- was as a security risk, WJXT-TV reported.
This is the purse that so freaked out the TSA:


Does the TSA work hard at recruiting people who apparently were shitcanned from being school administrators?

Meanwhile, the TSA is strip-searching women in their upper 80s at JFK Airport because of the terrorist threat posed by great-grandmothers.

(John Richardson has a good idea.)

6 comments:

Nangleator said...

I insist we only pay TSA agents in Monopoly money from now on. Looks like money. Made of paper. Good enough for them, right?

ZERO TOLERANCE!! It must be treated as if it were legal tender!!

Comrade Misfit said...

Pay them with these bills.

The New York Crank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The New York Crank said...

Hey, hey, go easy on those poor TSA agents! If they were rocket scientists, they wouldn't be feeling people up for a living.

Although come to think of it, in this economy maybe they would.

Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

December 5, 2011 2:02 PM

Sarah said...

We already pay TSA in Monopoly Money

Stewart Dean said...

If there was a God that steps into human affairs, the contents of her colostomy bag would have been emptied on the heads of the screener, his section head, their manager and everyone on up the management chain of the TSA.

Alas, he lets us sort it out, to our redemption or downfall. That's the bargain, I've long thought, of free will: the world is an educational institution for the slow learners, the morally challenged, the ethically fearful.