Murder Most Foul

That, apparently, is what the three alleged suicides at GITMO in 2006 were.

These are the steps that the three were alleged to have taken to kill themselves:

• Braided a noose by tearing up their sheets and/or clothing.
• Made mannequins of themselves so it would appear to the guards they were asleep in their cells.
• Hung sheets to block the view into the cells.
• Stuffed rags down their own throats well past a point which would have induced involuntary gagging.
• Tied their own feet together.
• Tied their own hands together.
• Hung the noose from the metal mesh of the cell wall and/or ceiling.
• Climbed up on to the sink, put the noose around their necks and release their weight, resulting in death by strangulation.

It defies credulity. Jailhouse suicides are regularly committed by doing the first step and the last two. But all of the others? It defies credulity.

One of the bodies was independently autopsied after the decedent's body was returned and there are even more questions from that. Suicide by stuffing rags down one's throat would seem to be a very unusual method. The rest of it starts to smell like the old National Lampoon article of how Salvador Allende committed suicide by a self-inflicted airstrike, after shooting himself thirty times in the back from 20 feet away, pausing only once to reload.

In this instance, it would seem that NCIS stands for "Naval Cover-up Integrity Service". Think about that the next time you watch ol' Gibbs running a case.