Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, October 31, 2008

Earth to Stevens! Earth to Stevens!

Despite his felony conviction this week for filing false U.S. Senate financial disclosure forms, Republican Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska insisted he was innocent and vowed not to step down.

"I have not been convicted of anything," he maintained during a Thursday night debate in Anchorage, only days before Tuesday's election.
BZZT! WRONG!! You were "convicted" the moment the jury said so, Teddy, me boy.

There are only three ways to avoid continuing to be a convict: (1) the judge sets aside the verdict (which is highly unlikely); (2) you get it overturned on appeal; or (3) you file an appeal and then die before the appeal is heard (Ken Lay's method).

Obviously, Sen. Stevens thinks a majority of Alaskans are as ignorant as Sarah Palin.

We'll know for sure in four days.

3 comments:

Mark Rossmore said...

I want what he's smoking.

Phil said...

Ya know damn good and well Stupie McFuckwit is going to pardon his wrinkly old ass.
The guy has been in office for forty years, he knows where lots of bodies are buried.
As for his claiming to not have been convicted of anything, these fucking people live in Bizzaro World.
It's like trying to figure out what your cat is thinking at any one given moment, impossible to fathom the thought process.

Anonymous said...

". . .Sen. Stevens thinks a majority of Alaskans are as ignorant as Sarah Palin."

He's not the only one who thinks the majority of Alaskans are as ignorant as Sarah Palin. They elected her governor and himself senator time after time.