Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys underground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"Eck!" -- George the Cat


* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset.

Thursday, January 20, 2022

An Epic Rant on the New and Improved High Power

You will never be a real FN Hi-power Mark III. You have no parts compatibility, you have no magazine compatibility, you have a full-length guiderod. You are an FN DAC twisted by minor aesthetic tweaks and the removal of double-action into a crude mockery of John Moses Browning and Dieudonne Saive’s perfection.

All the “reviews” you get are only for clickfarming. Behind your back people mock you. Your parent company is disgusted and ashamed of you, your “userbase” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Shooters are utterly repulsed by you. The over 80 year service record of the Hi-power has allowed men to sniff out cheap clones with incredible efficiency. Even clones which “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your side profile is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to buy you, he’ll go straight back to the local gun store and put you up for consignment the second he gets a whiff of your extraction issues.

You will never be competitive. Your shills wrench out a fake video with plenty of slow-mo every single week and say you're "just as good", but deep inside you feel the higher bore axis and inferior ergonomics creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll be carelessly left in the glovebox of a 1998 Ford Escort, and be crushed along with the car when it's inevitably abandoned at the tow yard. Your manufacturer will discontinue you, disappointed at the lack of sales but relieved that they no longer have to have such an unfaithful "clone" in their lineup. They’ll put you in the discontinued section of the website mentioning the DAC you were an inferior version of, and every enthusiast for the rest of eternity will know a DAC is buried there. Your frame will rust and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a dust cover that is unmistakably generic.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

I'd lead off with "a real FN High Power Mk.IV", but the rest is spott on. I'd not heard of any extraction issues,but the gun's really not out in the wild, yet.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Why would it be so impossible for FN to just produce a Hi-Power to the original specs? Was the original manufactured with some alien technology that has since been lost? What is so hard about doing this right? I just don't understand...

0_0 said...

kek

And I am as perplexed as Unknown. This isn't like restarting F-22 production.