Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

"Mobs Do Not Storm the Capitol to Do Good Deeds." -- not James Lee Burke

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys underground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"Let’s eat all of these people!” — Venom

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

What Would We Ever Do Without Florida Man?

The alleged perp attempted to have sex with a stuffed unicorn and Olaf (the snowman from Frozen). It's all on tape.

Both of the stuffed critters were destroyed, The living critter is in the dingbat ward.

If he gets sent to prison, the conversations with the other cons should be epic.


Ten Bears said...

LOL ~ Sometimes the snark just writes itself.

Tod Germanica said...

Well, in his defence, unicorns and Olaf are hot.

Aaron said...

If he had done it with a jar of peanut butter, there would be no need for a psych eval - it would be clear to everyone he's F'n nuts.

w3ski said...

I bet he voted for tRump.
Just saying.

Paul said...

As a Florida Man for roughly 44 years, I can tell you this: I understand why he had sex with the unicorn. A snowman, however, is unheard of in these parts.

dinthebeast said...

Don't furries usually have a person in them? On the other hand, you can't get covid without one.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Stewart Dean said...

People for the ethical treatment of stuffed animals: PETSA.

Tod: Unicorns are only OK around virgins. Someone who been around the block, nope. But stuffed animal fetishists? Our perp is in real trouble.