Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys underground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset.

Monday, March 15, 2021

I Propose a Law

If someone proposes naming or renaming a street: The number of letters in the street name shall be counted, including the abbreviation at the end for "road", "street", "boulevard", etc. The maximun number permitted shall be fifteen.

However, if a longer name is proposed, then the individual proposing it, or the CEO of the company or organization proposing it, must then write out the full name of the street, in longhand, one thousand times for every letter over the limit of fifteen, one line per entry. So, for example, if there are nineteen letters in the name of the street, the name must be written out four thousand times, by hand.

Proof of so writing must be furnished to the Postal Inspector before the name is permitted to be used for mailing purposes. All of the written names must be legible.

In the event of failure to comply, the name given to the street shall be "Asswipe (name of the person proposing the new name) Blvd." Mail addressed to any other name for the street shall be marked as "undeliverable" and returned to the sender.


DTWND said...

Hmmm. Must be a good story behind this proposal.


Comrade Misfit said...

Tried to write an insanely long street name on the envelope of a greeting card. It didn't go well.

15 letters is generous. Ten would be better.

B said...

Well, that takes care of all the Martin Luther King Boulevards...

and a whole bunch of other Heroes of the Left (and Right).

But I generally oppose such arbitrary laws

Unknown said...

You write M.L.K. blvd they know who it is.

Ten Bears said...

Snail mail? Oh my, how quaint.

I note with some satisfaction the corner mailbox that got taken out by the in this neighborhood no doubt trump voting bozo "plowing" two inches of snow with a backhoe and disappeared six weeks ago has been replaced, with a nice shiny new corner box in concrete just fresh enough for me to scratch m'sign. Old Outlaws don't necessarily stand by while others break the law, in particular when others are causing harm. That would be criminal.

In my other language, you'd be cursing before you got to my address.

Dark Avenger said...

B, what about Insurrection St.?

J4rh34d said...

For your amusement, I give you the corner of S. Old Peachtree Rd. and Peachtree Industrial Blvd.

Nearby,we have New Peachtree Rd. and Peachtree Rd.

For my sins, I was once a delivery driver in that area.

J4rh34d said...

B, we abbreviate it to MLKJ for Martin Luther King Jr.

Ten Bears said...

Insurrection Avenue, DA, at the corner of Sedition Street

Tod Germanica said...

Corner of Treason and Putin.

Comrade Misfit said...

The intersection of Insurrection Avenue and Sedition Street shall be known as Trump Square.

Sikhandtake Rakhuvar said...

Postmen delivering to this place have paid for those sins:

Note the tiny "listen" link at bottom of first paragraph, 'lest you disbelieve that it even IS pronounceable.

CenterPuke88 said...

J4rh34d, don’t forget Peachtree Blvd at N. Peachtree Road...or Peachtree Road NE at Peachtree Dunwoody Rd...or where Peachtree St NE becomes Peachtree Rd near Peachtree Avenue NE...or Peachtree Rd NW at Peachtree Way NE...or Peachtree Rd at Peachtree Hills Ave NE...or Peachtree St NE at Peachtree Park Dr NE...or Peachtree St NE at Peachtree Valley Rd...or Peachtree Rd at Peachtree Circle NE...

Atlanta is a mess with that Peachtree shit.

J4rh34d said...

Sikhandtake Rakhuvar, Welsh is more phonetic than Russian. That "w" is a vowel and "pwll" is pronounced and means "pool", although the double "ll" is a little twisty. Just force air out over your tongue when you pronounce "ll"

Dark Avenger said...

Funny how a certain civil rights leader manages to stick in some people’s craw, over 50 years after his assassination. That was a real knee-slapper, B.

Sarah said...

Usually a shortcut for long names (MLK, JFK, etc) exists. In this case
Prince Rogers Nelson Memorial Highway

It will require drawing skills: