Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, February 1, 2016

Dear NHL Executives: You Suck and Your Mothers Are All Whores.

The fans voted for John Scott of the Arizona Coyotes to be the captain of one of the all-star teams. That didn't sit well with the NHL brass as Scott's mainly an enforcer, which is hockey-speak for a fighter, a brawler. The NHL tried to talk him into declining the nomination.

He refused to do that, so Arizona traded him to Montreal, which then shuffled him off to a minor-league team. The NHL brass thought that by doing that to Scott, he wouldn't then be eligible to play in the all-star games.

See, while the NHL likes fighting on the ice because it pulls in fans, the hockey purists don't like it. They didn't want an enforcer in the all-star games. All that machination, including fucking with Scott's career, was so they wouldn't have a player in the games whose main talent is fisticuffs.

The fans revolted, the NFL caved. Scott was back on the team. They won the all-star championship.

Then the NHL had the fans vote for MVP and gave them three choices, none of them Scott. The fans revolted, again. They wrote in Scott's name.

Being on the winning team got Scott a million dollars. Being voted MVP got him a new SUV.

He's still in the minors, but that'll probably change.

p.s. to the NHL executives, including the owners of the Coyotes and the Canadiens; same goes for your wives, your sisters, and your daughters. And yourselves.

3 comments:

Mike R said...

Amen, nicely said.

D. said...

The most insulting curse one can put on the pooh-bahs of the NHL is probably "May you all lose a trainload of money." That would hurt worse. Probably not start enough fights, though...

Yogi said...

Originally they weren't even going to put his name on his sweater, just give him a generic "All-Star" game one.

And then he scored a goal. I would have loved to have been in the room with Bettman when that happened.

Bunch of assholes.