Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

How'd That "Rapture" Thing Work Out for You?

Over the weekend, I saw a link on a blog somewhere to a site that proclaimed that the Rapture would be on Monday, September 21st.

I wonder if anybody has bothered to track down that guy and ask him how it worked for him.

My take on it is that if a person really believes that he or she is going to be wafted up to Heaven, and they are so sure of it that they have one of those "in case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned" bumperstickers on their car, then they are probably going to a special spot in Hell. My suspicion is that if there really is a Heaven and Hell and all of the rest of that noise, that those in charge are not going to be too enamored of those folks who ran around proclaiming their piety.

(Those folks who use their self-styled piety as a club against other people are probably going to be standing in line for their Daily Pineapple.)

4 comments:

Sarah said...

I fondly remember the HBO show "Six Feet Under". It followed a family and their funeral home business. Usually, it began with an interesting departure - the client of the week.

One week, a pickup truck was ( for some reason ) moving a bunch of helium filled mannequins/balloons. They did a poor job of securing the load and they all floated heavenward. An unforunate devout woman was enraptured by the sight, and wandered into traffic with her arms raised high, and "went to her reward".

Human belief systems are so ... inttttttttttttteresting.

Lockwood said...

Here's the page that everyone was citing:
http://home.flash.net/~evt/rapture.htm
If you choose to follow the link, you might want to put on some sunglasses first.

Anonymous said...

Is it wrong that I wouldn't want to be in a Heaven with people like that?

Comrade Misfit said...

CP, I don't think you have to worry about it. Those folks will be swimming in lakes of molten lava and during the periods that they are out of the lava, demons will be feasting on their livers.

LW, I see that the clown involved removed all references to the actual date and now says that the date "is not knowable", but he's pretty sure of everything else happening on his schedule.

There is a word for him: Putz.