Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Friday, January 8, 2016

"Gimmie Yer Money! I Have a Rolling Pin and I Know How to Use It!!"

AKRON, Ohio– A Cuyahoga Falls man is behind bars after police say he held up a bar with a rolling pin.

Foster E. Ball, 32, is charged with aggravated robbery, felonious assault and carrying a concealed weapon.

Akron police said Ball was wearing a black mask when he walked into Ido Bar and Grill Thursday afternoon. He demanded money from the register and when the bartender refused, Ball pulled out a rolling pin and pointed it at her.
Probably some good jokes there, but I'm not feeling well, so have at it.

4 comments:

Dean Weingarten said...

A Washington Supreme Court justice wrote a ruling saying that rolling pins were not protected by the Second Amendment.

http://gunwatch.blogspot.com/2016/01/goldilocks-ruling-in-washington-supreme.html

Deadstick said...

This just in: She was stopped by a good guy with a rolling pin.

Leo Knight said...

The robber was quoted as saying, "I want all your dough!"

Expatriate Owl said...


My late grandmother used to threaten to shove food down people's throats with a rolling pin when the didn't eat what she had prepared. [This was rarely an issue with me; I do miss her cooking.]