Those Terroristic Nobel Prizes

It's way past time that we rethink even having the TSA. Astrophysicist Brian Schmidt won a Nobel Prize in physics in 2011. He went to Fargo to see his grandmother who, naturally, wanted to see the medal. He can take it from there:

You would think that carrying around a Nobel Prize would be uneventful, and it was uneventful, until I tried to leave Fargo with it, and went through the X-ray machine. I could see they were puzzled. It was in my laptop bag. It’s made of gold, so it absorbs all the X-rays—it’s completely black. And they had never seen anything completely black.

“They’re like, ‘Sir, there’s something in your bag.’
I said, ‘Yes, I think it’s this box.’
They said, ‘What’s in the box?’
I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.
So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’
I said, ‘gold.’
And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’
‘The King of Sweden.’
‘Why did he give this to you?’
‘Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.’
At which point, they were beginning to lose their sense of humor. I explained to them it was a Nobel Prize, and their main question was, ‘Why were you in Fargo?’”

Once the room-temp IQ TSA screeners realized that a gold medal is not a terrorist's implement, they should have shut their dick holsters and let Dr. Schmidt go about his business. Why he was in Fargo with his Nobel Prize was really none of their goddamned concern.

But this is what has been going on ever since we all let the failed-mall-cops who "work" for the TSA pretend that they are cops.

It's time that we re-think even having a TSA. Or if we have to continue to have them hold down those phony-baloney jobs, let's dress them in pink or purple uniforms so that everyone will be clear on the fact that they are not cops.