Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Amazon to Sue Every Frickin' Person on EBay, Now.

Because those greedy fuckers have managed to patent taking a photograph of something against a white background.

You know, the thing that the DMV does to take most license photos? The thing that has to be done for a passport photo? The thing that wedding photographers have used for generations to shoot bridal photos? Putting the subject in front of a white background and taking the picture? Yes, that.

Amazon has turned itself into the World's Largest Patent Troll.

I think I'm going to patent aerobic respiration. I'll let you know to where you, your animals, and your plants need to send the royalty checks.

4 comments:

FrankC said...

Does the U.S. patent office have no conception of "prior art"?
Every photo booth I've seen has a white background and also has a black curtain to pull across.
Will Amazon also patent black backgrounds?

Leo Knight said...

Here in Baltimore, a local businesswoman trademarked the local endearment "Hon" as in the common greeting, "Hey, Hon." Now she had a restaurant called Café Hon, and had started a festival called Hon Fest, both of which could be trademarked. But she wanted all uses of a previously existing word by any other business to belong to her as well. She took legal action against souvenir vendors with the word on their goods. She became a rather hated figure in Baltimore. Finally, chef Gordon Ramsay of "Kitchen Nightmares" advised her to give up the trademark, which she did. I can't understand how a trademark or patent office can allow this kind of appropriation of a previously existing item. I joked at the time I wanted to trademark "and' and "the", so I could retire to my own private island. Maybe I should have!

The New York Crank said...

I intend to file a patent for obtaining money through law suits. Anybody who sues anybody else will then get sued by me for violating my patent. Anybody who defends against my suit will also get sued - or is it re-sued – Or counter-sued for violating my patents.

Stewart Dean said...

The original patent troll, from 1895.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_B._Selden