Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, December 20, 2010

A Holiday Carol

You can blame Tam and Roberta X for this one, since they started on it.

I finished it:
The city's burning in a raging fire,
Zombies chewing at your throats.
AC-130s laying down suppressive fire,
And civilians running like frightened goats.

Swine flu virus floats about like snow,
You'd better load your weapons right.
Tiny 'bots with their eyes all aglow
Will be turned loose to kill tonight.

You know that Santa's gonna slay,
Naughty boys and girls had better pray.
And every mother's child is gonna cry,
As reindeer drop napalm from the sky.

And so I’m offering this simple plea,
To readers from here to Timbuktu.
Clean your guns and be ready to flee,
Happy Christmas, to you!

Update: This is the base song. Not this. Clear, now?

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